Cold hands, warm shart.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
