my soul wont recognize me after tonight
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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