there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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