I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
