3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
