There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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