haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
