i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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