well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
