hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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