Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
