singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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