i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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