I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
