when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
