just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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