with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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