so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
im holly from the hills drunk
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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