and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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