This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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