I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
