I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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