I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
