so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
