She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
