Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
