let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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