I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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