I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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