Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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