Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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