He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
this just has baby written all over it
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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