There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
