I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
