I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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