am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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