I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
God I need to hump something, right now.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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