What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
