she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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