I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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