:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
