i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
