So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
