Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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