dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
