I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
