the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
