She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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