i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
