So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
