gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
